Must A Wannabe Content Creator Pal Stop Using Me for Material?

One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?